Well, I might not go that far. But Danielle LaPorte, who I had the pleasure of learning from this past weekend at the Spark of Awesome Retreat, created by masterminder Laura Caroon, says that's exactly what we should do.
What she was saying is that many of us have been sucked into the belief that my success needs to look like your success and his success and her success, so much so that the word "success" has gathered a negative vibe and become one of the squares on the corporate bullsh*t BINGO card.
Spending the day with Danielle, and with the other women who arranged their lives to be there from Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wisconsin, Texas, Colorado, Illinois, New Jersey (and I know I'm forgetting others) was just the SPARK I needed to dig deep. To get real. To acknowledge the fear and do it anyway.
I learned that I can show up exactly how I show up, not the way I'm "supposed" to or the way I'm "expected" to. I do not need to be accessible to everyone. People need to stretch for me, just like I want to stretch for people I want to be around.
If enthusiasm is missing from anything I have to do, then that's not something that empowers me, or anyone around me. As Danielle said, if it's not a "hell yes," then it's a no.
I'm also part of a Facebook book study where the leader posts a thought and the participants add comments and ideas. We are studying Gary Keller's new book The One Thing and many of the comments last night were right in line with Danielle's ideas about focus.
Coincidence? Of course not. The stars are aligning - and my worlds are colliding - to tell me I need to STOP DOING THINGS THAT DON'T LIGHT ME UP. In order to do the things you need to do, you will need to clean out the things that are holding you back. Danielle says we need to stop doing fully 50% of the stuff we're currently doing. <yikes>
Here's how to know what to stop doing: when you are in a constant state of resentment, stop. Be aware of your risk tolerance, though. Sometimes you just have to leap, especially if you've made that declaration. Your soul will die if you don't.
If you're brainwashed into believing your world revolves around the setting, and then the getting of goals, you may want to rethink that. (Danielle is lots more assertive around this idea ... I'm still working on processing it.)
If you live and die by your goals, you will shut down your intuition. As a goal-driven individual, I see how this could happen. The way I've seen this manifested in my own life is seeing myself as a big dinosaur laser-focused on the goals, and mostly hitting them, but forgetting I've got a big tail behind me wiping people out along the way. With my head down on the goals, I've missed so many other opportunities that were crying for my attention had I just slowed down and looked up.
Be present. Stand in your desire. Allow yourself to hear what your life has been telling you all along. Anything that doesn't light you up snuffs out your flame. And that's a tragedy because if you don't live your capacity, no one else ever will, and the world will miss out on what you were put here to create, allow, manifest, coax, and become.
Don't wait for permission. The spark inside of you needs to ignite something. Acknowledge that. Feel the fear. Take a deep breath. And know that despite what you think where you are right now, there are hundreds, thousands, millions of other sparks out there waiting to burst into flame when they discover each other.
Banish the word "success" maybe, but let yourself experience a filled up existence.
You'll only regret the things you didn't do.